Discovering my autism at the age of 57 has been a profound journey of self-discovery and reflection. As I look back on my life, it becomes increasingly evident how my experiences align with common autistic traits. It leaves me questioning why my pediatrician never identified these signs, raising doubts about the knowledge base of that era.

Childhood Reflections: Personal Space and Family Dynamics:

Growing up with a brother who constantly invaded my personal space, coupled with parental scolding, now makes sense in the light of my autism diagnosis. The need for personal space is a common trait, and it’s fascinating to realize how I navigated this aspect of my life without understanding its connection to autism.

Routine and Schedule:

My unwavering dedication to routine and schedule was not just a quirk, but a fundamental aspect of my autistic identity. Looking back, it’s clear that the need for predictability was a coping mechanism that brought stability and comfort in a world that often felt chaotic.

Unique Interests as Coping Mechanism:

Reflecting on my lifelong preference for non-fiction and entrepreneur magazines, I see it as a clear manifestation of a unique interest serving as a coping mechanism. These interests provided a focus and sense of purpose, aiding me in navigating the complexities of life.

Early Adulthood Coping Strategies:

Personal Space and Sensory Regulation:

During my late twenties and early thirties, the constant use of headphones and a Walkman during bus rides was not just about enjoying music; it was a deliberate sensory regulation strategy. Creating a personal auditory sanctuary allowed me to manage the sensory overload of public transportation.

Present-Day Realizations:

Looking Back with Understanding

As I explore my autistic identity, it’s a revelation to connect the dots between common autistic traits and my lived experiences. The realization brings a mix of emotions, from a sense of validation to questions about why the signs went unnoticed for so long.

Coping without Buffers: The Unseen Struggles

Navigating life without the awareness of being autistic meant dealing with the challenges head-on, without the buffers of understanding and support. It’s a testament to the resilience that individuals on the spectrum often develop as they find ways to cope with a neurotypical world.

Conclusion:

Discovering my autism at 57 has opened a new chapter of self-acceptance and understanding. It highlights the importance of raising awareness about late diagnoses and the need for improved recognition in healthcare settings. My journey serves as a reminder that it’s never too late to embrace one’s true identity and that self-discovery is a lifelong process. As I continue this exploration, I look forward to sharing more insights, connecting with the autism community, and fostering a greater understanding of the diverse experiences within the neurodivergent spectrum.

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Stay Sweet, Love Stephy